The Tears of Roy Keane

Oh mates, I had a really BAD anxiety day yesterday. But somehow during football, it all faded away somehow and let me tell you. Yesterday was a brilliant day for lover of footballculture. Where to start? The tears of our most beloved molestor beard coach? Ireland singing and getting through? The passion of Conte? Deflection mania with miss bumbum? Kiraly doing his bits? IT WAS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!

Hungary – Portugal (3-3)This game was absolutely sick. 6 goals. 1-1 at HT. 3-3 at FT. Both teams through to the last 16. It had so much this game. MISS BUMBUM (Ronaldo) did score 2 class goals, threw a tantrum and became the first players to score in 4 consecutive euros. Well done.
Fair enough Portugal, you owe it to your nation to get through. I’m not joking, you have some great quality players. BUT the real deal of this game GERA and DEFLECTIONS. Zoltan Gera is 37 years old and it’s the kind of player that fills my heart with joy. I saw him in touching distance when I visited Fulham at Craven Cottage and I’ve had a weak spot for the man. It’s good that the lad wasn’t in my area yesterday, because after his ABSOLUTE BELTER there were scenes. Hell, I would probably asked him to marry me or father our children or something like that. Quality lad, Quality strike, magnificent.
Dzsudzsak – I honestly had to google this one – scored with two massive deflections. And there’s nothing better than scoring with a deflection. Well of course there is, but a goal is a goal. Perhaps the most beautiful thing about a deflection is the sight of wandering faces of the opponent. Blaming each other, blaming the keeper. It’s even worse than an own goal to be honest. I really felt like Portugal deserved that. Not going to lie.

Iceland – Austria (2-1)Iceland. Approx. 10% of their population is in France right now. Can you even imagine how intense that is? Iceland was in our group, they battered us twice mate. They not only went to the euros to take part. They haven’t lost yet! drew against portugal, drew against hungary and actually won against Austria. Unbelievable tournament tekkers for the icelanders. Perhaps the most cult thing about them – besides all looking like Thor or Björn from Vikings – is the fact that every player’s surname ends with ‘SON’ (bar Gudjohnsen).
Austria has been the let down of the tournament for me. Such a good qualification, quality players. Arnoutovic trying to be zlatan junior or something down that line. Alaba and Fuchs, great quality players and the only thing that they seem to do, is being fucking BOTTLEJOBS. Nah, I don’t rat them mate.
Here is a clip from the most exciting commentary I’ve heard in a while:

Sweden – Belgium (0-1)
Well this game pissed me off. To be honest Zlatan is obviously cult for different reasons, but other than him and perhaps Kallstrom. This is a very poor side and I can’t believe the bloody Belgians – who have proclaimed themselves the new Khaleesi – had so many struggles to overcome them. So it pissed me off, because well I hate the belgian coverage in the Netherland. Honestly mate, wtf is your problem. If you don’t qualify, own it and do not get into these shenanigans. ‘Well they speek the same language’. Oh fuck off.
If I only see the hair of the belgians, mate I’m going to be infertile for the rest of my life ffs.

Italy – Ireland (0-1)This was always going to be my game of the day. Ireland everything to play for and both teams are basically just cult. They define cult, they give it a new meaning in my opinion. But I’m definitely with BBC. No not that bloody bale, benzema, cristiano ronaldo. No the real gents pal; Barzagli, Bonucci and Chiellini. WHAT A PLAYERS. Such grace, but also hard defending. Passion, fire and desire. Everything for their country, singing the fratelli d’italia proudly. Just great innit? Did you know Chiellini has a masters degree in Economics? He is Dottore Chiellini, how awesome does that sound?! I want to be called Dottore!
The story of Ireland mate. The anthem is lovely. As is Italy’s by the way! That whole team and Brady & Hoolahan. LEVELS MATE, LEVELS. I knew they were going to do bits for the squad and they absolutely delivered. The goal was from a beauty you would only find near a pot of gold. This was brilliant. No bad feelings toward Italy, but this is just great. 4/4 home nations to make the last 16? FAMMMM.

The most brilliant thing I saw was Martin Oneill jumping in the sky as he was just a young lad. On the background the fields of athenry was being sung by the faithful and after the last whistle, we all witnessed something majestic, didn’t we? We saw 24/7 no nonsense, I will grab your nuts, hard man, tough guy – Roy Keane being very emotional and hugging Martin. Keane in tears. Martin obviously very emotional too. AND THEN I HAD THE TEARS. Buffo came to congratulate them, hugging them, showing them respect and genuine congratulations. Nah, mate I was done. 



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  1. juni 23, 2016 / 8:33 am

    I don't know if it's the tireness or what but I AM CRYING AT THAT ICELANDIC COMMENTARY. Iceland are KILLING IT, imagine if 10% of every countries population was in France ahaha!

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