I’m taking a break | Life update

I’m going to take a break from blogging. There, I said it. And no, don’t worry friend, it won’t be for long. It’s not like I love saying this, on the contrary. But I think I need to look after myself and wanted to let you all know, because you have all been so supportive.

So why? Yeah that is a good question. I think it is something I have been thinking about a lot recently and every time I come to a few conclusions. If I look at the things I have these last months, it’s absolutely crazy and I can’t say no to anything. I’ve had so much on my plate and accepted so many project that I’m just knackered for life. It’s not easy to juggle university, your own blog, an other blog collective, write guest posts, work two jobs, write two books and have a social life, whilst battling through depression and anxiety. I took it too far this time.

My mental health plays a big part in it, and especially my bipolar episodes. When I’m hypomanic I tend to take on all different projects and have great schemes, but in reality I don’t have the time or the quality to pull all these things off, if I’m completely honest. I think I can manage but only for a certain amount of time, because I realise now that I’ve overdone myself. I’ve seen this before with myself, but I’m stubborn and don’t take any lessons from my previous situations. I’ve started a podcast and youtube channel, but miserably fail to keep up with these things, so I only feel like a failure right now.
I’m all over the place and I have no idea what I’m doing to be honest. I look at my latest work and I think, my blog is utter shit. I’m so tempted to delete my blog, but I’m not going to do it. It’s so strange, but I know it’s my own fault that my blog has become this shite hole it is. I’ve no idea what to do or how to continue right now. It feels as if everyone has lost interest in what I have to say. Although I love blogging and would never stop entirely, the lost of engagement can do something with your confidence and ultimately your selfworth.
So I’m going to take a break for a while. A week, two weeks, maybe a month. I have no clue. No blogging, writing or else. I will be on social media, so I’m never away, but I really need to get my life in order. Focus on me. Put the priority on me and my social life. I’m never far away if you want to have a chat or anything, just wanted to give you a little heads up.

An open letter to the amazing Dalindcy

“Sweet Dalindcy,

Today is a rather special day, today is your birthday. The thing is, every day with you is a special day and this day is no other, but I wanted to let you know how special you are to me and to the world. This open letter is me telling you and the world, that you are the most awesome girl existing on this planet and I’m so glad that I know you.

It’s rather funny how we met and how we grew close to each other, I think it’s very special from the very first moment. From the very beginning I felt this special link between us, I couldn’t put my finger on it at first. I felt so free and still feel incredibly free. Which is strange for me to feel, because I’ve felt caged for so long. Caged by my depression and not able to fully experience positive emotions. But since you walked into my life, that has changed for the better.

I’m so, so proud of you. It’s hard to put into words, how proud I am of you. I’m proud of everything you do and everything you try to achieve. I’m proud of your blog and how you keep updating it. Your blog to me, is a great source of inspiration, motivation and advice. More often than not, when I find myself in some sort of dark state of mind, your blog has helped me one way or another, which I think is pretty fucking awesome. Not only is the content brilliant and diverse, but your writing style is quite unique, just like the person you are. Your writing is engaging and tells a story, that no one seems to tell. It makes me want to read more and more, and sometimes I feel empty when I finish reading one of your pieces, because it’s over and I have to wait until your next piece.

I’ve always wanted to be a journalist or a writer and I’m never sure if I could manage that. But you are a freelance journalist and to be honest, I aspire to be more like you. I know, you should always aspire to be the best version of yourself, but I genuinely feel that I can learn so much from you with writing and way of doing business. You have no idea how our conversations about freelancing, journalism and writing have had an incredible positive impact on my life.

Another thing which you inspire me with is your youtube channel. First of all I’m a fan of your youtube video and I think your English is so very good. It takes a lot to impress me with English, but yours is amazing and I can learn a lot from you. (Except your American accent, you can keep that for yourself lol) I really love your youtube channel and especially your series about minimalism intrigues me. I’m not sure I ever could be a minimalist, but it has motivated me to be more conscious of what I do, buy and storage. You can see that you work hard for it and you deserve all the engagement and subscribers, I’m so proud of you.

But above all, you are the most amazing person that I know. You are the sweetest soul alive and your sweetness is like water to my soul when it gets thirsty. It’s so special to have you in my life and that you are my girl. I suppose love work in mysterious ways and sometimes you just know, this feels amazing. You came into my life and captured my mind and soul, just like the Proclaimers say in my favourite song about my heart: you saw it, you claimed it, you touched it, you saved it.
I’ve always had the idea that I was the person that invested a lot in relationships, both in friendships and romance. I always had the idea that no one ever could invest that in me, which made me incredibly sad, but with you I feel so loved and cared for. You invest a lot of time and effort in me and that for, is so incredibly special.

You are so funny! Every day you make me smile countless time and your little stories, puns and teasers, are the highlight of my day. It’s special, because I didn’t have a lot to laugh these last few years, yet you stepped in my life and here I am: smiling and laughing all day round. It’s a special talent you have, my dear Dalindcy. You make me feel good and you are my best friend as well, you care for me. You are a caring, supportive, loving person and I feel nothing less from safe every time I speak to you or see you. It’s like my little safe place in this difficult and busy world. I feel at ease and comfortable with you.

You are so intelligent. I think you don’t even half know, how intelligent you are. It’s so important to have conversations on a variety of topics. I love that we can talk about football all day, I really need that. I need you in my life. But we can seriously talk about anything and everything, which makes me feel rather privileged, I’ve never had this in my life. I can talk about my mental health, my work, my studies, my feelings and emotions, football, sport and my writing. I can seriously talk about everything with you and that makes me feel so incredibly blessed. I think I’m doing alright in life and I’m quite bright, but you educate me every single day, which I think is amazing.

Music plays a big part in my life and maybe we don’t have the same taste in music, you can appreciate music and how I think about music. We have different perspective in music and life, but that’s the brilliant thing. Every time we talk about music or documentaries, my heart makes a backflip. Or when we talk about food,  because food is life obviously. I think wow, where did I find this brilliant girl? I’m truly in love.

When I look at you, I feel that I’m in love. I see the most beautiful girl on this planet and I have to pinch myself in my arm, to reassure myself that this is all real. You are so beautiful and pretty. I love the way you dress and you have an awesome sense of style. But the thing that made me fall in love with you is the fact that you are completely yourself. I think the most attractive thing in people is when they can be themselves and are confident with being themselves. You are the most attractive soul on this planet, because you are completely yourself and wow. You are what I want and need.

I want the world to know that I’m feeling very grateful for you and that I’m so lucky to have met you, let alone that I’m the guy you want to be with. You inspire me, motivate me, encourage me and make feel loved. You are honest, kind, sweet, special, considerate and funny. Intelligent, loving, caring, beautiful, pretty, bright and thoughtful. You have a great sense of style, you are talented and your smile is everything. And can we talk about your eyes, omg your eyes. Your eyes are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

You mean the world to me and I want to wish you the best birthday today. Surround yourself with family and friends in your life. People who have a positive attitude and impact. You got this. You are special and God, I’m the luckiest man alive to be together with you.

Your Marc”

Dalindcy’s links

June Playlist

I know, I know. It’s almost the end of June and I still haven’t put up my playlist of this month. Well now I have. This month it’s all about a mix to be honest. It’s a mix of Indie rock/pop and oldies combined with some oldskool hiphop and modern rap. I really love this playlist, as it gives me great comfort and pleasure in times when I need it. Music is so important in my daily life and I honestly wouldn’t know what I would do without music!



Red Bull – UEFA situation

Tuesday night,  a rather discomforting notification popped up on my phone. The UEFA issued the following statement: Salzburg and Leipzig admitted into UEFA Champions League. The two clubs who are part of arguably the most hated owner in European Football are allowed to play in the elite league of UEFA: The Champions League. Feelings of discomfort, anger and sadness entered my mind and heart, and I just thought: Is modern football winning this battle? 

We all know Red Bull from the energy drinks and in the beginning they have invested in extreme sports, being a brand that would find itself linked to skateboarding, BMX, motocross and everything that can be found at the X-games. However, in the past decade they have themselves more interested in other sports and in particular football. To understand how the UEFA got involved with integrity and ownership, it’s important to understand how it got there.

The Risk
In my humble opinion, in the football world,  one should never concentrate on one sponsor or company to carry the club. Even if it is one of the biggest multinationals in the world. The risk of those big companies leaving is ever present and imagine if they do leave, what safety net will they have? What will hold the club up and not let them go into decay, such as relegation or even worse, into administration?  Things have gone south with clubs before and one of the most vivid memories of such an example is the state of Bayer Uerdingen in the past, now of course know as 5th tier club KFC Uerdingen. They did brilliant in Germany, Bayer Uerdingen. They played in the Bundesliga, won the DFB Pokal in 1985 and played in the Europa Cup II and UEFA Cup. In the Europa cup II they even managed to bag the semi finals where Atletico Madrid proved to be the better side after two games. At the time their name giver and most potent beneficiant was Bayer, a medical concern company. However, come 1996, they decided to withdraw their money and support from Uerdingen, and everything went downhill for the club. Eventually they were relegated so far down the football pyramid, that they played in the 6th tier. They have now been promoted again to the 4th tier, but things haven’t been easy for this sleeping giant.
Red Bull & Success
In 2005 Red Bull bought Austrian Bundesliga club SV Austria Salzburg, and this was met with great hostility by the Austrian fans. In one of the most traditional and passionate countries in western europe, they felt the identity of their football club would be completely lost by the money making machine that’s called Red Bull. And rightly so, because they changed everything about the club and if you only care about the results, it was pretty okay. Otherwise, you saw your club dying. It killed the working man’s game and they wouldn’t be the last club. New York Red Bull,  Red Bull Brasil and ultimately RB Leizpig would follow. Concentrating on the continent of Europe is my main goal, because that’s what the thing is all about, the UEFA.
I suppose you would suspect some biased writing by now, and yes that is true. I suppose you could argue that if you look at the achievements and the way the teams perform on the pitch, it was a great way forward. If we look at Salzburg’s achievements since Red Bull took over, they are quite impressive: League (8x) Cup (4x), qualified for the CL (5x), qualified for UEFA Cup/Europa league (6x).
The rise of RB Leizpig, who can’t be named Red Bull Leipzig because of legal reasons in Germany, is of a different kind, but may achieve the same things Salzburg has done over the years. They had a slightly different path to success. They in the 5th tier of German football and got the license of SVV Markranstädt. Their goal was to reach the Bundesliga within 10 years after founding (2009) and that’s what they have achieved. Further more, they have qualified for the Champions League after the 2016/2017, after finishing second in the Bundesliga, just behind Bayern München.
(Against) Modern Football
While there are thousands of supporters who absolutely applaud the achievements of the club and how they have done it – with huge amounts of money -, there are also those fans who have seen their club being hijacked and abused by the likes of Red Bull. They are said to kill tradition and to have bought their way in the football club, and if you think about it, there’s so much truth in it. For example, what part of history does Red Bull Salzburg have? Does RB Leipzig have any history? What will the fans of Chemie and Lokomotiv Leipzig have to say about how the whole world is ignoring them now, because of the ‘mighty’ RB Leizpig? It’s the money that has entered the whole football world that has started to ruin the pureness, the raw feeling and the passion of football. Football clubs have become toys for rich oligarchs and sheiks, they are run like a business. But they forget, that football is so much more than just a business. It’s about heroes and tribes, loyalty and devotion, it’s our battle and our belief, our commitment and our passion, this our belief. football supporters are fans, not customers.
Because of their slightly controversial approach to football and football clubs in countries where football is regarded as one of the most important things in the world, RB Leizpig and Red Bull Salzburg have had significant problems with football associations both abroad and domestic. The first minor problems arose with the sudden overtaking of SV Austria Salzburg by Red Bull. They declared their history to be insignificant and changed the colours of violet to the colours of Red Bull. It ultimately leaded to the fact that the core of passionate fans, decided to distance themselves from Red Bull Salzburg and form their own club: SV Austria Salzburg. Many fan groups throughout europe supported the newly formed Austria Salzburg, but things did not for the situation with Red Bull Salzburg.
More problems developed with the involvement with Red Bull in Leipzig. They first had negotiations with an existing club, which failed ultimately because the DFB feared too much influence of the company on the football club. Eventually Red Bull decided to start their own football team, and then another problem came through: the name. They couldn’t name the team Red Bull because of legal reasons and they decided to call it RasenBallsport Leipzig, but everyone in their right mind knows it’s Red Bull. A second problem came with the promotion to the 2. Bundesliga. In Germany you have the 51% rule, which means that no investor or owner can have more than 49% of the shares of the football club and with Red Bull owning RB Leipzig completely, initially they failed to qualify for the license for the 2. Bundesliga. The DFB also stated that their clublogo looked to much after the logo of Red Bull itself. They needed to make changes to the logo and their official structure, before the DFB went ahead in allowing them to play in the 2. Bundesliga.
After the 2016/2017 season, RB Leipzig finished second in the Bundesliga, which means they will be automatically qualified for the group stages in the UEFA Champions League. Well at least everyone thought it would be that easy, the reality is a bit more complicated.

Red Bull & Champions League

No problems with Champions League so far, because only Salzburg qualified for the Champions League. Well that is until this season, because now Leipzig has qualified too. Which is a shit thing for one of the teams, because the rules clearly state that there can be only one team under one owner, playing in the Champions League. With Red Bull being owner of Salzburg and Leipzig, this would mean that only Salzburg would be qualified, because they had the highest position. This is in according with article 5 of the UEFA: the integrity of the competition.
But, last Tuesday the UEFA came with the following statement:
The Adjudicatory Chamber of the UEFA Club Financial Control Body (CFCB) has decided to accept the admission of both FC Salzburg and RB Leipzig to the UEFA Champions League 2017/18, having found that Article 5 (Integrity of the competition) of the competition regulations is not breached.
Following a thorough investigation, and further to several important governance and structural changes made by the clubs (regarding corporate matters, financing, personnel, sponsorship arrangements, etc.), the CFCB deemed that no individual or legal entity had anymore a decisive influence over more than one club participating in a UEFA club competition.
This decision may be appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport within ten days, in accordance with Article 34(2) of the Procedural rules governing the UEFA Club Financial Control Body – Edition 2015, as well as Articles 62 and 63 of the UEFA Statutes.
The CFCB will continue to monitor both clubs to ensure that integrity rules are respected going forward.
The motivated and reasoned decision will be published on UEFA.org in due course. 
The UEFA has ‘investigated’ that both clubs have different owners? Both clubs have struggled with all these procedures from the very beginning, and it’s clear that Red Bull owns both clubs, yet they are both admitted to the Champions League? The integrity of football is damaged because of these kind of clubs who invade countries and make it harder for hard working clubs without that kind of money, to qualify. So it seems like they will both play in the Champions League and I feel a bit sad for football now. Because I think that these kind of decisions open the door for more of these kind of clubs, and for me that’s the death of football as we know it.

Please let me know, what you think of the whole situation. I’m really interested in your opinion



Best HIMYM High Fives in 10 GIFS

Whenever I feel a tad sad, incomplete or alone. I tend to watch How I Met Your Mother. It’s a great show and it always lifts my mood! One of the best thing about it for me is the character Barney Stinson and in particular his high fives. So here are a few of the best high fives of the show.

Have you seen HIMYM? What is your favourite thing about it? Let me know!