So why? Yeah that is a good question. I think it is something I have been thinking about a lot recently and every time I come to a few conclusions. If I look at the things I have these last months, it’s absolutely crazy and I can’t say no to anything. I’ve had so much on my plate and accepted so many project that I’m just knackered for life. It’s not easy to juggle university, your own blog, an other blog collective, write guest posts, work two jobs, write two books and have a social life, whilst battling through depression and anxiety. I took it too far this time.
I’m going to take a break from blogging. There, I said it. And no, don’t worry friend, it won’t be for long. It’s not like I love saying this, on the contrary. But I think I need to look after myself and wanted to let you all know, because you have all been so supportive.
My mental health plays a big part in it, and especially my bipolar episodes. When I’m hypomanic I tend to take on all different projects and have great schemes, but in reality I don’t have the time or the quality to pull all these things off, if I’m completely honest. I think I can manage but only for a certain amount of time, because I realise now that I’ve overdone myself. I’ve seen this before with myself, but I’m stubborn and don’t take any lessons from my previous situations. I’ve started a podcast and youtube channel, but miserably fail to keep up with these things, so I only feel like a failure right now.
I’m all over the place and I have no idea what I’m doing to be honest. I look at my latest work and I think, my blog is utter shit. I’m so tempted to delete my blog, but I’m not going to do it. It’s so strange, but I know it’s my own fault that my blog has become this shite hole it is. I’ve no idea what to do or how to continue right now. It feels as if everyone has lost interest in what I have to say. Although I love blogging and would never stop entirely, the lost of engagement can do something with your confidence and ultimately your selfworth.
So I’m going to take a break for a while. A week, two weeks, maybe a month. I have no clue. No blogging, writing or else. I will be on social media, so I’m never away, but I really need to get my life in order. Focus on me. Put the priority on me and my social life. I’m never far away if you want to have a chat or anything, just wanted to give you a little heads up.